I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize