hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize