He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
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if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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