Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize