dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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