I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize