Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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