Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize