well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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