A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am spending my child support on dildos
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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