I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize