Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
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Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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