Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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