My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
50% drunk capacity currently
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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