sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize