you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize