So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize