Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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