My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize