Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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