Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
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They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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