maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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