i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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