Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize