i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize