Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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