so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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