Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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