wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my shit smells like andre
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize