well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize