Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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