remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
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Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
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Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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