And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
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But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
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Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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