I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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