Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize