You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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