Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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