Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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