You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize