Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
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my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
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I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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