Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize