just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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