Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
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Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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