I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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