Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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