So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I forgot how hot balto sounded
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I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
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I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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