you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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