Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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