Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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