hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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